wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize