I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
