It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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