He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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