How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
