i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
