my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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