nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
