i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I believe in your delicious
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
