last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
