I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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