In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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