laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
