I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
