After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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