Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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