but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
