Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
