Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
