So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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