don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
