I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
