I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
