she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
