This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
