Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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