hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
