from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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