Betty ford says i'm here all night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
