thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
