I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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