Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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