I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
