Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
