so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
