So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
