youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
