i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
