You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
