I murdered the dance floor call the cops
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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