i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
