is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
