I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you will always have a special place in my vag
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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