he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
