i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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