We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
