This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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