You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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