hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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