I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
