So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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