Whod you bang
i just google imaged poop.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
