All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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