An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
