Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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