I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
