remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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