you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
