if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
