This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
