My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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