Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
