It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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