ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
