You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
