Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
