Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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