No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
