So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
