He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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